So! I’m back from Burning Man. A Chicago publication asked me to write a “review,” which is an interesting notion. Is Burning Man such a reviewable, consumable thing? Anyway, stay tuned for whatever I come up with (I often announce such things on Twitter). In the meantime, let’s have another PostSecret entry!
PostSecret is an online community art project to which people send postcards featuring a secret they’ve never told anyone. Of course, I’ve always paid special attention to the postcards coming in from BDSMers.
Like this one:
“When my boyfriend spanks me, my inner feminist weeps, but it just feels so damn good.”
I was stunned when I started searching the Internet several years ago, and realized that there were other feminists writing and thinking about S&M. I think this postcard appeared around then — maybe 2008 — when every time I saw anything about the tension between feminism and S&M, I felt thrilled.
Things have changed in the intervening years. Major feminist writers now write open, accepting, and even somewhat nuanced articles about consensual S&M. Bitch Media just ran a long series examining BDSM and feminism — from a friendly perspective. I myself had a long guest blogging stint on one of the biggest feminist blogs in the world (and of course, I just published a best-of collection called The S&M Feminist).
Within mainstream feminism, we’ve reached the point where S&M is no longer constantly on the defensive. Which feels awesome.
“I’ve wanted to be a sex slave since I was a little girl — now I am! I’m so happy! I wish I could tell everyone I know! I love my Master!”
… And the biggest reason it feels awesome is because of emotions like those expressed above. When some of us find S&M, the triumph of that feeling is like nothing else. Why the hell should we have to justify fulfillment?
(Please note that there are many PostSecret books available for purchase, including A Lifetime of Secrets, and Extraordinary Confessions From Ordinary Lives, and Confessions on Life, Death and God, and others.)